Face Book: Fun or Fateful?

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"Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able" (Luke 13:24).

Set Up for Secrecy?

Face Book, I was recently told, is the "secured" internet sharing of information about oneself with others. I asked to include family members-- which were met with much laughter. The Face Book shared information is limitless and without boundaries, it was explained to me. It obviously takes the place of face to face communication and interaction. Removing the constraint of boundaries supposedly promotes "freely flowing communication". It is a non-barrier free style of communication which could lead down the path to "do not tell" and "secrets"-- neither of which leads to spiritual uprightness.

Face Book on further questioning of this particular group of youth "is good" because it is supposed to give you controls over whom you allow to access your page or site. Do you desire control over your communication access-- or over your thoughts and deeds? In one sense if you have proof of whom you allow into your page this could be certainly be considered a positive safety measure but is there a guarantee you are secure in knowing this is the person who is --whom they actually say they are? But when asked to list another good thing about Face Book that email does not accomplish the room became quiet.

Why would one bother with all this secretiveness and whom to allow in and not allow in your personal site? I was further told you could post pictures and private comments and thoughts for others to read such as your likes and dislikes. Likes and dislikes such as food, pets, and music. Is this worth the set-up and dissemination of information to everyone that enters into your site? Does everyone really need this type of information disclosed about them?

I am told you can find long lost friends. You can attach pictures to email and make private conversation to a person or groups of persons. If you find a long lost friend, how do you know they are still a friend and not a threat? I was recently told of a youth that picked up a high school mate she had not seen in years and they beat her up and took her car.

We have telephones, cell phones, websites, and church directories. We have agape meals at church and retreats for Christian socialization. All can direct communication in multiple forms directly to a single person or group of persons without any heightened threat of harm to either your spiritual nature or physical well being that Face Book can bring about.

Of great concern is that fact that Face Book is on the internet where unlimited amounts of information and predictors can challenge its security, the anonymousness of saying without constraint whatever enters your mind without the face to face contact, the misunderstanding that can arise when two or more words are misconstrued, and the general purpose of it all not only evades me but alarms me.

"Their preconceived ideas incline them to disbelieve" (Clement of Alexandria c. 195, E).

Habitual and Harmful?

Is Face Book habitual with you as a user? Is it the establishment of a habit that has grown time consuming, wasteful in meaningless thought and silly conversation, or have you noticed that you have gradually grown distasteful in the pictures that you post? Has it become an earthly and bodily exercise for you?

Is this the way that suits man spiritually...

"You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden...Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:14 16).

Face Book If habitual—any habit—established by a person can become like a tree. When the tree is young and at its inception can be pulled out with its roots with little effort, but it is very difficult to pull it out when its roots are firmly established in the ground.

Has Face Book become a bad habit which you have taken lightly? The danger of any habit is that it takes away from the spiritual nature of man. No habit should take away from the pursuit of Christ-like behaviors.

Do you enjoy the leisure of Face Book although you need to pray at night? Do you enjoy Face Book although it may not be food for the spirit of man? Do you see yourself slowly enjoying the negative nature of a post to Face Book? Are the servants of your church in appropriate places, appropriately attired, and increasing your respect of them and their service? Servants, is Face Book appropriate for your commitment to the Church?

The principal of the Narrow Gate will not lead us down a worldly path in the pursuit of a state of undisclosed secrecy of the nature of such a modern day communication tool which on the outside appears to encourage gossip and much talk about social activities which may be unbecoming to the Christian.

"The soul that has chosen the best life—the life that is from God and righteousness —exchanges earth for Heaven" (Clement of Alexandria, c. 195, E).

Self Examination of the Soul

"When the soul, in its gaze to Heaven, has recognized its Author, it rises higher than the sun and far transcends all this earthly power. It then begins to be that which it believes itself to be" (Cyprian, c. 250, W).

Does Face Book:

Follow in the footsteps of the Lord Jesus Christ?
Share the pictures of a special Divine Liturgy/Feast Day or youth involved in parties and questionable beverage drink?
Force you into an undisclosed difficult road of introduction to someone you barely know and you console yourself with I am lonely?
Benefit your fasting and prayer?
Are the pictures of the servants of the church appropriate and powerful or do they display something that needs repentance and renewal?
Are rest and sleep forsaken for reading about the lives of others and we begin to desire that for ourselves?
Shyness is not an excuse to resorting to unhealthy and misleading conversation.
A belief that one will get to know the true self of another through internet communication is false. What about predators? What about being untruthful in general?
Solve family problems?
Solve problems at school, college or work?
Promote good habits such as studying?
Is it fun in that it could take on the form gradually of worldly desires and popularity?

If you answer yes to even one of these questions then Face Book may not be the avenue of communicating with others for you.

Do you gain honor and inspiration among your friends to be righteous, or to be defying Godly ways?

If you answer yes to any one of the questions presented above let this serve as a warning to return to your rightful senses and discuss this as with all things with your priest. Ask for his guidance on does this form of communication with others suit your spiritual personality? Does it make you lift up your heart to God? Always remember that...

"nor will they say, 'See here!' or 'See there!' For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you" (Luke 17:21).

Safety and Security

Most articles related to Face Book safety include as number one and two safest ways to use Face Book: 1) No personal information and 2) No personal data such as address, telephone number, school attending or attended, etc. What does that tell you about the security of Face Book from the beginning?

The principle of the Narrow Gate in spiritual life includes avoiding these pressures which man meets in his spiritual life to join what everyone else is. To belong to the same thing that others belong. Free will efforts which man chooses to fulfill and meets man from the outside must be examined for their spiritual benefit.

If one is not watchful a small step in secrecy can lead to a bigger step in sin and giving in to unholy desires, unholy pictures, and unholy words and thoughts. If you are ashamed for others to whom you are accountable to, to review your communication on Face Book with your friends, then there is a trigger that something is wrong with this activity.

The Narrow Gate is the entrance to life. The gate we must strive to enter through or we will not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

"There are others the Chaldeans who say that men are governed by the decree of fate. As a result, sometimes men act wickedly, and other times, they act well" (Bardesanes c. 222).

Face Book seems to be in the conversation of many youth I encounter. I have wondered why it is termed Face Book, is it either because there are faces to associate with names on it or it provides the opportunity for one to say a thing and hide their face.

"Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?" (I Corinthians 5:6).

Points for Parents

Parents do not let it ever be said...

"You care more about your children's earthly estate than you do about their heavenly estate!" (Cyprian c. 250, W).

Parents, it is your responsibility to monitor Face Book for its appropriateness and what your children are dedicating to it in time and design. It is your responsibility to discern if the appropriateness of your child's Face Book becomes a child of God.

Do you monitor your adolescents' Face Book?
Do you question the comments?
Do you offer guidance?

Keep in mind,

"A tree that is deeply founded in its root is not moved by the onset of winds" (Cyprian, c. 250, W).

A parent does not give a child the car keys until they are of age to and have the skills to drive. A parent does not allow their children to take the car unless they know where they are driving to and from. A parent does not allow the child to drive if they are unsafe, lie about where they are going or have been. A parent does not allow a child to drive with speeding tickets or upon the discovery of its inappropriate use. This is termed parental responsibility. Is it any less for things such as Face Book? Know what your adolescent and young adult are thinking and saying.

Face Book has the potential to be spiritually dangerous and can cause disruptions in the peaceful nature of a child, of their family and their community's pursuit of peace. Ensure the Narrow Gate remains just that the Narrow Gate.

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (John 14:27).

It has often been said by the early Church Fathers, we do not speak great things, we must live them.

"If fate causes men to injure one another and to be injured by one another, what need is there for laws...To do good or evil is in our own power, and it is not decided by the stars" (Methodius c. 290).

It is important to search for the love and truth in any controversial matter. If there is none, then it is just that controversy.

Bishop Youssef
Bishop, Coptic Orthodox Church of the Southern United States