Christian Manual for Happy Marriage

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"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it" (Psalm 127:1).

Many people marry for many reasons (financial status, feel they are growing too old to raise a family, for companionship or etc.). Many married couples begin their lives without understanding God's plan for them and also without a good foundation which puts these marriages at many risks.

In order to build anything (bridge, car, house, or any item) it is required to have a design and an instruction manual. Otherwise, by failing to do so we end up with an item that might collapse or it does not work.

The Holy Bible is the best marriage manual that you will ever read. It is our instruction that God established for us in order to be His children and live in harmony with each other for the purpose of reaching our goal which is to live with Him forever.

"I rejoice at your word as one who finds great treasure" (Psalm 119:162).

What is the Holy Bible?

It was written over 1600 years period
It was written over 40 generations
It was written by over 40 different authors (kings, peasants, philosophers, fishermen, etc.)
It contains a variety of different styles (stories, history, dialogues, proverbs, parables, prophesy, etc.)

Who is the author of the Holy Bible?

God is the author of the Holy Bible; God used human authors to write down the words He wanted in the Holy Bible.

Why?

God wants to reveal Himself to us
God wants to tell us how much He loves us
God shows us a way to be united with Him
God wants to show us how He wants us to live our lives
God wants to guide us through our journey of life
- Help us to know His will
- Help us to know right from wrong
- Guide us through confused society
Through reading of the Holy Bible
- We recognize triumphs and failures of ordinary people
- We recognize our own strength and weaknesses
- We learn that God is with us all steps of the way
- We learn about how to change ourselves to be better persons

What is God's plan for us?

To discover God's plan for us, we need to read the Holy Bible because it is our only main source for Christian guide and Christian marriage.

"And the Lord said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" (Genesis 2:18).

When God created Adam He desired for him to have a companion, a female of his species to love, cherish, share things with him and become his companion. God fashioned Eve by taking Adam's rib and made it into a woman to be one with him.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

In the beginning the ideal marriage always has been that man and woman would join together through their life and be one unit with God through their marriage and submit to His plan.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).

God created man and woman in His likeness to have a relationship with them and live in harmony with each other. But human beings followed their own self-will and chose to follow their own way and sin grew in their lives and their fellowship with God was broken. And there became no amount of human goodness or human works which would allow us to have a relationship with God or give us the right to go to heaven.

We cannot have a relationship with God, unless we are perfectly righteous. Because of God's love for us, He would not leave us without a plan. God sent His only Son to save us through the Cross and teach us how to live in the fear of God and love one another so we can join the Father and the Son in eternal life.

What is God's plan for our marriage?

God created the universe and designed it for us, God also created male and female with specific design
Difference in bodies
Different in thinking
Different in viewing the world around them
Know right from wrong
Have sense of justice
Show mercy
Be forgiving
Be patient
Show love and kindness
That they can have companionship
With sexual and emotional intimacy that helps
- Join the couple as one flesh
- To be correct place for sexual union
Programmed our bodies to respond to touch, taste, sight, aroma, sound, etc.
Capable of bearing children and multiply

With the purpose of:

Understanding God's love for us
Teaching us how to be better a human being
Loving one another
Filling the earth with righteous men and women
Bringing forth righteous children
Helping each other to reach eternal life

How can we help each other in marriage?

God designed the institution of marriage, as a life long process to build Jesus Christ (values, attitudes, morals, characters) in us by putting us in different situations and circumstances to build certain qualities in us. For example God will teach us:

Real love by putting unlovable people in our way
Experience joy by testing grief
Trusting Him by place us in tough situations
Patience by putting us in stressful situations

And for us to do so it required of us a different kind of thinking and attitude that can only be achieved through the power of God in our life.

What kind of healthy attitude the husband and the wife required to have happy marriage?

Putting God first in their lives and their main goal is to dedicate themselves to God by serving Him, studying His words, praying and worshiping Him
Recognize there is no such thing as a perfect wife or a perfect husband and having conflict does not mean you married the wrong person but it means that both of them are human with different weakness and strengths that help them complete each other
God intended for man to be the spiritual leader in the home for he is representative of God in teaching, leading and inspiring his wife and children to learn and obey the words of God
Recognize that marriage is a long-term commitment and loving each other for better or for worse
Remember that true love means giving without expecting anything in return
They can be a good example of self-discipline
- Conquer their lust
- Control their appetites
- Restrain their emotions
- Get rid of their bad habits
- Control their thoughts
When arguments occur they should learn to forgive one another no matter who is at fault in order to maintain a healthy home for them and the children
Practice the law of kindness and set a good example for their children
Considering each other's needs and gladly giving oneself to another
Letting trials produce love and self-worth
Appreciating one another in small and big things and be pleased to be together
Having positive friendship will allow them to enjoy each other's company and overcome problems
Recognize that without good communication there is no meaningful relationship
Comforting each other in sickness, trouble, and sorrow
Respond to one another openly, lovingly and without improper secrets
Solve all their problems as a team will bring them more closer to each other
Learn to rise above human goodness to divine goodness (trust, have faith, respect one another, etc.)
Ready to say, "I am sorry", "I was wrong", "Please forgive me"
Disciplining their children and teaching them obedience and also gain their heart so we can lead them to God and the right path

"I delight to do your will, O my Lord, and Your law is within my heart" (Psalm 40:8).

Through the words of God, the Holy Spirit will lead our life and shape each one of us into the image of Jesus Christ. Then God can use us to serve our spouse, our children and others each according to his abilities, strengths, gifts, passion, and experience.

Written by
Nagwa Abdou